Posts Tagged ‘fathers day’

For a special Fathers Day edition of GTFO Friday I will be writing about something I have a seriously empathetic spot in my heart for. Something that we all have either experienced directly or indirectly. It affects people throughout their entire lives and some have the damnedest time coping with it. I am talking about terrible fathers.

I have a very diverse set of friends and a large family that spreads across the country. From entrepreneurs to 9 to 5 business folks, from pastors to people who can be considered evil, from the ever positive to the always angry and so on. The one thing that ties that group of people together is that they almost all have some sort of story where a father is not there or the father is in fact not a father to them or their family at all. The fact that this subject comes up so often in my travels as a documentary on life is disconcerting. Way too often is there a story about someone who has not heard from their father or their father is either mentally or physically abusive. As I’ve grown up the stories changed from people having issues with their father, to people having issues making the child’s father be a present and participating party. The consistency in something so damaging is staggering. Now don’t get me wrong, I do hear about the good fathers out there and I won’t say that it isn’t common. In fact the fathers doing what they are supposed to be doing aren’t what you hear about because you shouldn’t be credited or rewarded for doing what you are supposed to be doing. The stories that make their way to the top are the ones that have altered a person’s life and perception on men and what responsibility is. Or the ones that cause deep seeded trust and dependency issues. To watch a person go through life having this burden is like watching a fight video on World Star. You know at some point that it is going to be overwhelming and they will need to be picked up.

As a father myself, it is impossible for me to fathom the life of a man who created a child (or 12 if you’re Antonio Cromartie) and has no intent on them being a priority. I see myself in my kids and my history will not allow anything less than the best for my kids. The thought of never seeing the kids you made and living a happy life escape me as no explanation formed could justify such a thing outside of saving the world.

I really didn’t want this post to be a bashing of fathers. And this is definitely not a topic that needs awareness raised. I think I started this being in pain and since your heart and brain bleed through writing, this is what it has become. I wont go into my issues, but I will say that I am stronger because of it. I actually struggled with trying to write this as an unaffected 3rd party which only led to using backspace more often than actual typing. As I stated earlier, it is something that follows you through life no matter what type of wall you have put up to block out the affecting feelings. No matter the successes that life has brought. No matter the comfort given. And Fathers Day comes around 365 days a year. However since the calendar tells me that this Sunday is Fathers Day any father that feels as though they have been the subject of this blog should…..